One word changed everything for me: “OCEANIC”
For years, I’ve been living in burnout. I was rigid, over-planned, constantly building and creating structure. My to-do lists stretched weeks into the future, controlling every aspect of my work.
Then came my awakening. I wrote out all the habits leading me to burnout. Next to them, I wrote their opposites... and stared at what was clearly masculine versus feminine energies.
I had been living in my extreme masculine energy: controlling, driving, pushing forward. My feminine energy: flowing, receiving, adapting, had been neglected.
When somebody close to me suggested I “be oceanic,” something clicked. What if I moved like water instead of forming like concrete?
I took a radical step: I deleted my to-do list. The ENTIRE thing.
In its place? A simple “flow list”, just the names of current projects without tasks, deadlines, or dates. Not to control my days, but to free my mind from carrying all those details.
The problem wasn’t fear of procrastination, it was associating my worth with productivity. When I couldn’t complete tasks in my allotted time (due to illness or energy fluctuations), they would snowball, creating overwhelming stress.
I even deleted time blocks from my calendar. Now only actual appointments and meetings remain – intentionally few and far between.
Instead, I let my body lead. I follow my natural rhythms: working when energized, resting when tired, creating when inspired.
Every morning for the last month, I’ve woken thinking “What’s my to-do list say?” Then I remember, I don’t have one! “I’ve got nowhere to go and nothing to do” has become my most healing mantra.
And I’m still getting work done. I’m also resting, baking bread, playing with my kids, all without that sense of overwhelm.
I’m doing things because I WANT to, not because I HAVE to.
This feels oceanic: fluid, feminine, free. And even when mental health storms roll through, I’ll remember my true nature.
I’ve been sharing about rest, burnout & healing over the last couple of months in my posts, but you can get the full story of where I started and how I got here in my book Trauma Alchemy available on Amazon.
